California Steamin'

First, some background: Due to an archaic law, foreign-flagged cruise ships sailing out of California ports have historically, for the most part, sailed to out-of-the-way, non-U.S. ports before turning toward the more popular attractions on their itineraries. Thus, excursions setting out for Hawaii from Los Angeles or San Diego would stop first in Mexico. Ships sailing from San Francisco mostly head north to Canada before continuing to Alaska, Hawaii, or any other destination.

So Celebrity's almost all-California lineup - San Francisco, Monterey, Santa Barbara (here's the glitch - see below), San Diego, Ensenada and Catalina Island - would give even seasoned cruisers a new experience.

And the Mercury - Celebrity's 1,870-passenger, 78,000-ton ship stretching the length of almost three football fields - provides an ambiance that reflects California's laid-back attitude. While other ships dazzle passengers with flash and splash, the Mercury instead impresses with quiet elegance and stately service. For example, on other ships the captain will make a public announcement over the intercom system at least once a day, reporting the ship's position, speed and estimated time of arrival at the next port of call. Celebrity, on the other hand, prides itself on making very few - if any - announcements that might abruptly disrupt a conversation or upset a moment of meditation. The ship's quieter attitude even shows itself in minor, innocuous details. For instance, other ships announce the day of the week by printing it in large letters on carpets in every elevator, changing the carpets daily. Not so on the Mercury; if you have any interest in learning what day of the week it is, you can ask.

Back to the itinerary: We were delighted that Monterey would allow us to come ashore, because that town's view of cruise ships has taken a nasty turn. The ship Crystal Harmony has been permanently banned from Monterey for inadvertently dumping bilge in the offshore marine sanctuary. We viewed Celebrity's admission to the port as a prize that could easily be snatched away in the future, and our visit there did not disappoint. The Monterey Aquarium alone justifies the entire trip. (Even natives will enthusiastically advise tourists to make a point of seeing the jellyfish exhibit.) Nearby Carmel adds icing to the cake.

We were due to stop next in beautiful Santa Barbara, so imagine our dismay to discover that the ship was instead sailing to Los Angeles. Now, Hollywood and Disneyland are okay, but not when you're anticipating Santa Barbara! Celebrity explained to passengers that the port had chosen to not allow us to dock, fueling rumors onboard of another environmental confrontation like the one the Crystal Harmony ignited in Monterey. But Santa Barbara officials insist that U.S. Customs had informed the cruise line months earlier that it would not be allowed to dock in the harbor because it was not approved as an international port of entry, according to the Santa Barbara News-Press. (As of this writing, Celebrity's Web site lists Los Angeles in place of Santa Barbara for the 2004 Coastal cruises, though the accompanying map still shows Santa Barbara.) Meanwhile, the Princess cruise line is planning at least one stop at the disputed port this year.

Be that as it may, Celebrity compensated with excellent cuisine and staff. Those who crave pampering in the extreme can even stay in suites with 24-hour butler service. Entertainment is pretty standard, and you can of course find plenty of establishments onboard serving alcohol and snacks. Expect the usual art auctions, but - gratefully - the Mercury is not as obnoxious as other ships in regard to staff photographers snapping and hawking shots of every passenger in every conceivable pose on every day of the trip. Nobody dressed in a silly pirate costume tried to take a picture with us at our dinner table.

As would be expected, the passenger list included names from just about every continent. But visitors from overseas expressed surprise at the large number of Californians taking the cruise. As noted earlier, even the locals considered this itinerary a rare treat.